I don't normally work full time. I don't need to and I don't want to. I have in the past, but right now my number one priority is my children. My husband supports us very well. If he didn't, I'd be out there working daily.
That being said, I don't just sit around and eat bon bons (although some of my inlaws seem to have that idea, as they don't understand why I can't do things at the drop of a hat.) I hate it when someone asks what I do, and I tell them I am a sahm. I had a career and it paid very well. I gave it up by choice, and I didn't give up my IQ--only my job.
I do volunteer work, mentor with families who have issues with finances or parenting, (on the volunteer level and also on the state DFS level). We homeschool our children, I teach one day a week, have daycare kids 18 hours a week, sub teach and run my own business of which I control the hours and clients. If we have family issues, such as sickness, field trips, company, or worse-we just had a family member pass from cancer, I can lesson my business. If I decide to increase it, I can quickly increase it by opening up days I had blocked for family.
Sometimes I go out for my business (I teach cpr, health and safety classes) sometimes they come to me (we use our homeschool class room).
I have rental property--it adds to our family income as well. This month I have been teaching much more than usual--I picked up some classes due to the flu going around as other instructors were sick and I wasn't. Between my rental and class income I have either brought in or invoiced over $4000 this month. By Friday n Saturday night I will have taught 9 classes just this week alone... and, I will be out of town with the kids for 8 days doing volunteer work from tornado damage.
Yet, some of the inlaws....and a few others, constantly badger me asking when I intend to get a "real job". So far I evidently haven't found the correct response, as I keep getting asked again and again.
Do other small business owners or sahm get asked this?? what defines a real job--a paycheck from someone you are dependent on to schedule your life for you and pay your only what they think you are worth?? (I'd rather have my families kisses and hugs for payment any day of the week).
I'm beat--a vent more or less
March 7th, 2012 at 11:45 pm
March 7th, 2012 at 11:49 pm 1331164159
March 8th, 2012 at 12:17 am 1331165848
It works for almost any awkward exchange -
-Gee, don't you get bored not having a job? Why do you ask?
-You and your husband must be rich since you don't work? Why do you ask?
-Gee, have you gained weight? Why do you ask?
-How much do you make? Why do you ask?
-How much do you weigh? Why do you ask?
And so on and so on. I don't believe we are required to respond to questions ultimately meant to put us on the defensive.
March 8th, 2012 at 12:53 am 1331167987
I'd also say "I already have the best job in the world - why would I want to do anything else?"
March 8th, 2012 at 12:54 am 1331168076
March 8th, 2012 at 01:49 am 1331171365
March 8th, 2012 at 11:41 am 1331206900
March 8th, 2012 at 05:54 pm 1331229293
March 8th, 2012 at 06:40 pm 1331232047
March 8th, 2012 at 06:47 pm 1331232460
I wish I were more like you, Dear, you are a HERO!
March 8th, 2012 at 08:19 pm 1331237958
I have noticed over the years the ones with the most input are the most unhappy with their own lives. The stupider things the people have said, the more quickly I eventually found their marriage was over or they had lots of personal issues. So that also helps me just to set aside the stupid comments. (It's not always about jealousy, but it is about being unhappy and far too concerned about others).
I never understood the concept that you have to have a job to be a productive member of society. I know way too many people who don't have "jobs" and do so much for their families and communities.